


Started From the Butt Now We Here 🍑

by ankesenpaaten



Category: Noblesse (Manhwa)
Genre: M/M, Modern Ragar AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25028653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ankesenpaaten/pseuds/ankesenpaaten
Summary: Ragar writes bad romance novels. They usually involve Frankenstein, but occasionally include other people that he has met once or twice, including the occasional Union operative. Here are his stories.
Relationships: Frankenstein/Dark Spear, Frankenstein/Ouop9, Frankenstein/Ragar Kertia
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	Started From the Butt Now We Here 🍑

"Pounded in the Butt by Own Butt: a Semenal Classic," Ragar typed as he pounded away on the typewriter (as his protagonist would soon be pounding away at someone as well).

It would proceed as follows: his protagonist (who he did not know yet) would become upset about something relatively minor and insignificant and hide in a private room to, as humans say, "cool off." They would be distracted by something else (a hobby, work maybe?) so much so that they would not realise someone was in the room with them (perhaps the person was already in the room, perhaps they had slipped in; regardless, it was a mistake that Ragar himself would never make). This person (a coworker, an enemy, perhaps a "cool" best friend who sacrificed everything for their friendship) would grab the protagonist by the hips, swing them around, and forcefully kiss them.

Ragar frowned as he paused, thinking. But then, that seemed awfully, non consensual….maybe the protagonist had a rape fantasy? He and Frankenstein had experimented with that once, but truthfully, Ragar never quite understood it. He apologized after and asked Frankenstein if he was alright; but Frankenstein had slapped his hands away, and yelled at him for ruining the whole thing at the last moment….

The new person would somehow seduce his protagonist, and, completely willing, they would fuck. His protagonist would be pounded in the butt with his own butt. He had not quite worked out the specifics of it, but he was sure something would come up.

With the basic plot sketched out, he would now work on his protagonist. He had no clue who it would be; it could not be himself, because that would be incredibly vain. Whenever he tried to write a human, he would show it to Frankenstein, who would reject it for being "too unrealistic."

"This is a pornographic novel, not a sitcom," he would say to Ragar, "The characters have to be somewhat believable so the reader can place themselves in the protagonist's position."

Frankenstein, as always, was extremely wise in these matters. So Ragar had spent the last few weeks reading any romance novel he could get his hands on, reading "fanfiction" on the internet, and studying as many pornographic films as possible. He felt like now he truly understood the human sexual experience: their likes, dislikes, the most popular acts, the least popular, social mores and taboos, and the proper way to place one's fist in another person's ass. He was ready.

That did, however, bring an idea to mind. Frankenstein was very knowledgeable in these things, and had indeed taught him much. Should he not honor him in a most fitting way by making him his first protagonist? Frankenstein did always love being the center of attention, and what would be better than being a protagonist in a novel?

It was decided then: Frankenstein would be his protagonist. But who would be the irresistible sexy love interest? It could not be him; again, Ragar thought it too vain. He would never ever think of embarrassing Sir Raizel like that.

Perhaps…... Gejutel? Gejutel was very knowledgeable about human sexual mating rituals. And, it would surely make Frankenstein extremely entertained. Hmmm….but, no. Gejutel could not handle the raw sex appeal Ragar had in mind for his protagonist; and starring in a novel with the title, "Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt: A Semenal Classic," would be too vulgar for his tastes, as Ragar knew too well, having worked with him for very long due to their bureaucratic partnership.

It could not be himself, it could not be Gejutel, and it absolutely must not be Sir Raizel.

For the idea he had in mind, a more controversial relationship would work better; Ragar knew Frankenstein had a humiliation "kink", and as such, now that he knew who his protagonist was, he could build the plot off of their likes and dislikes.

So the "sexy lover" would have to be someone Frankenstein did not particularly like, but respected enough. The words "sexy lover" rang a bell in Ragar's mind. Frankenstein called Dark Spear his "crazy lover", didn't he?

And Dark Spear was a part of Frankenstein, thus solving the "pounded by own butt" conundrum. Hmmmm…..that indeed seemed very promising an idea…..

Yes, Dark Spear would be the "sexy lover", at least for now, because they fit all the requirements Ragar had specified.

Ragar got to work, reworking the plot to fit his new protagonists. He had to get Frankenstein alone in the lab (not a hard thing to do), while also guaranteeing no one would come disturb them during their moment of unbridled passion.

Here is what he came up with; Frankenstein, upset with Ragar being more "cool" than he was, went to “cool down” in the laboratory. Through blood mixing with semen (Ragar could not comment on how semen was anywhere in the laboratory, or whose semen it was) and electrocuted by a freak spark (thrown by Dark Spear, deliberately trying to create mischief), it created a mass that slowly grew right in front of Frankenstein's eyes, him all the more unaware.

It grew, and grew, and grew, until it was nothing more than a pair of very nice shapely legs connected to the biggest buttocks Ragar had ever envisioned. (Not that he imagined growing mutant butts very often, mind you.) One would think that it would, quite naturally, continue to grow upwards and upwards until an entire human torso and head were formed; however, this is not what happened. It stopped exactly at where a belly button might be (not that this mutant buttocks would have a belly button, per se, as Ragar was fairly certain Frankenstein had not carried it inside his womb, or if human males had wombs, but the relevant point was that there was no belly button where one should be); the hips were well formed and curvy (Ragar estimated it as a thirty five inch waist, as he had been watching a lot of human fashion shows such as "Project Runway" and "Say Yes to the Dress", and as such he had become well acquainted with human body measurements, especially in the breast, buttocks, and waist areas) and overall, was a very comely pair of legs, "booty", and reproductive parts (of which it had both sets of human genitalia). Ragar was particularly appreciative of its dainty ankles; they were so scandalous and salacious. For being created by something so hideous and ugly, the mutant butt was certainly attractive.

He was not sure how, but he had a distinct feeling that the creature's name was "Ouop9oihhobhophoobohbhkohpjuobuiliuiohjoiiolloiboijholnionlbohbhbkbonlbokubboookbibkihujiibnbljbnhkilbhlobnohkihblhnbooolnkobbhobiijukihn," or, Ouop9 for short. After this encounter, Oup9 would move on to having a very happy and successful career as a showgirl in Las Vegas; their stage name would be "The Lovely Legs," and they would headline under famous cabaret stars such as Mitch McCuntell, Boobra Streisand, and Dick Mi.

The twist that Ragar was particularly proud of had to do with Ouop9's double set of genitalia; they were not as one might expect, located in the genital area, but rather, on each buttcheek. The penis was on the left, and the vagina was on the right. Body parts created by mutation and energy did not have to follow the rules of logic.

As Ouop9 had no arms or upper torso, they would have to introduce themselves in a special way: Ragar thought of turning around caressing Frankenstein's own (clothed) buttocks with Ouop9's penis.

Frankenstein would then turn around and gasp dramatically. "It's you," he would say.

Ouop9 did not have a mouth or a face to smirk, but Ragar imagined that they would if they could. Ouop9 would then shake its penis at Frankenstein longingly.

Frankenstein would sigh and complain, "I'm busy right now. Can't this wait until later?"

Ouop9 would waggle its genitalia more urgently.

Frankenstein would sigh and acquiesce; then they would do the Dirty Dog, sing the Sultry Song, dance the Tasteless Tango, Pound the Mochi. (Ragar did not particularly care for the last metaphor, as it dirtied the name of one of the greatest human snacks.)

At some point, Dark Spear would involve itself; angered by the feeling of Frankensteing having pleasure, they had decided to show him how pleasurable pain could be, all while making him beg for it. He was deliberately disrespecting them by turning their creation into a pleasurable experience! Frankenstein deserved nothing but pain and agony!

While pounding away at him, Dark Spear would hiss all the ways he was an awful, terrible, disgusting, disgraceful excuse for a human being and their Raizel was only with him for pity, and once Dark Spear showed him footage of this moment, (using the cameras the Dark Spear set up in the house; it didn't matter if this was unrealistic because it was fiction, and Ragar learned you could do whatever you wanted in fiction) their Raizel would leave him forever, and he and Dark Spear would live happily ever after in a haunted mansion in the Florida Keys.

The criticism and hatred would arouse Frankenstein so much that he would cum all over the table, and defile his precious work and research notes. The combination of humiliation, fear, and self hatred (for being turned on by being fucked by himself and Dark Spear, and disgust for cumming all over his desk) would only arouse him more, and he would beg Dark Spear to fill his weeping hole with its swollen rod of passion.

They would snake their tentacles inside Frankenstein's hole, already so filled by the cock of Ououp9, and double fist him. They would milk him until he begged.

(If this was a bad pornography, Frankenstein would say something like, "Impale me with your stick of love!" But Ragar only wrote quality works of fiction, no matter how much Frankenstein criticized his works.)

After a few more rounds of passion and fury, Ouop9 would disappear (leaving, apparently, for their new job in Vegas), and Ragar would swoop to the rescue. Dark Spear would leave Frankenstein filthy and fucked on the floor (where he belonged), so he would cradle poor abused Frankenstein, kiss his forehead, and whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

Then, they would go out for ice cream, win prizes at the arcade, see a movie, or ride the Ferris Wheel.

At the top of the Ferris Wheel, the romance of the setting sun would push them close together, and Frankenstein would whisper how he had always loved Ragar, and from now on, they could have as many sweet dates as he wanted. Ragar would bat his eyelashes like a 1940s starlet and say, in a sultry voice, that he never wanted anything but Frankenstein's love. They would kiss, their faces flushed by the light of the setting sun.

Or at the arcade, Frankenstein would work hard at Skeeball or at One Ball, and they would laugh together about how rigged the games were and how they would humiliate the cheating operators by winning their "impossible" games. They would end the night on the boardwalk, eating ice cream and holding hands. His ice cream would start to drip, so Frankenstein would quickly lick it for him. They would make out with the ocean waves in the background.

Ragar sighed; he was very envious of his written self. What a perfect life; Ragar wondered if he knew how "good he had it", as the expression went?

(Unfortunately, he reflected, as he was editing his work, everything after the sex scene was extremely unrealistic and out of character for Frankenstein; Ragar would have to remove it if he wished his work to be as accurate as possible. But, he could always hold onto the fantasy in his dreams.)


End file.
